ABATTOIR 401: Applying A Dead Goat Vaccine

On the 11th of March, 2015, the Sikaman Abbatoir was in great devastation as news of a syndrome invading our country spread throughout the length and breadth of the land.

(Un)Fortunately, the C.E.O of the abbatoir popularly known as President Bohyeba has been the only victim of this disease and it is causing lots of problems since its made him deaf, hence not being to hear what happens around him.

Till now, the origin of the disease is still unknown as people say he acquired it either in Botswana where he was importing goats or in the Promise Land where he rears goats. But investigations are still ongoing to unravel the cause and origin of this disease.

To every problem there is a solution and the Bavard Institute of Goat  Syndrome (BIGS) has come out with a strong vaccine to eradicate this syndrome since it is making the Sikaman Abbatoir an unhealthy place and business is slowing down as less people are buying goats now.

This vaccine has been tested and approved by the International Drugs Association and can be used for over a century. No expiry date.


Usage:

1. You must be a worker or shareholder of the abattoir: Citizenship

2. You must have your knives. That is, you should be ready to prevent the diseased from approaching you or staying longer in his office than he is to be: Eligible Voter.

3. To apply this vaccine without pain, you would need A.B Crentsil's 'Suro nnipa na gyae saman' on your music playlist. It motivates you to work hard and await La Jour-J: Work and Happiness.

4. Once in a while, try to eavesdrop to hear what he is saying. He may be insulting you or telling another promise which is definitely going to be broken: Information Retrieval

5. Do not insult him. The syndrome does not give the liberty to hear what you say. It would just be a waste of time and breathe. Just ignore, look at your knife and smile: Admiring Voters ID

6. When it is time for Shareholders General Meeting, he would come around to take your views. It's an act don't fall for it. He can't hear what you say: Campaign Palaver

7. Preparing for election: Sharpen your knife and place it where it can easily be retrieved when the time is nigh

8. Eating from The Abbatoir Cake: While he shares meat, be singing Daddy Lumba's "Me ne wo sre kwa" and don't reject it. Take it. After all 'man for enjoy' but the vaccine should make you blind to these donations

9. Voting: On the D-Day, go with your knife to the Human Resource Department and demand the removal of the C.E.O

After Step 9, don't be surprised if the patient starts to show signs of fitness. He has been completely healed. But go to the lab and run a test to ascertain the credibility of the vaccine. Results should be positive if the vaccine was well applied. If not go back to Step 7, your knife might not have been sharpened well.

Please note that this vaccine is to be used for people suffering from the Dead Goat Syndrome.


ABATTOIR 401: Abattoir - Abatuor (twi word for voting), 4 - 4 years in office, 0 - No Second Chance, 1 - One term in office