Letter To Our Women: Rules To Gender Equality

Dear Women,

In the beginning, after everything was created, God created man to
take care of the everything. Out of boredom, the man asked to be given a companion and out of his own ribs, a woman was formed.

Then civilisation began in Egypt and out of nowhere in this day, something called gender equality erupted. I don't know who started it (I wish not to know though), but for decades now, you have been crying and fighting for equal rights. Yes!! Equal rights to be like men or let's put it this way, to rub shoulders with men.

It comes as no surprise to me. After all, we have the Yaa Asantewaas, Angela Merkels, Oprah Winfreys, Helen Johnson Sirleafs, Michelle Obamas and what have you making it at the top.

Unfortunately, you've also got the backing of male world leaders and powerful people supporting your cause. They say, "what a man can do, a woman can do better." and I wouldn't undermine your capabilities cos most of the brilliant people in my class back in junior high school were ladies.

But then, a civilian does not wake up all of a sudden to be a soldier. He or she goes through strict and thorough drills and training before he or she qualifies to be one and that is if they are successful. Hence, to want to rub shoulders with men, you've got to do what men do.

Trust me, if you are able to do all we ask of you in the list, we, the men, would demonstrate naked before the legislator to make this a dream come true. Besides, what is good for the goose is good for the gander.

 Below is a list of equity chores:

• Just in case our cars break down in town, don't decline to help us push the car to the appropriate place.

• When the bills come, we would share the cost equally. No negotiations,

• At the local rest stops a.k.a chop bars, we would go on rotation when it comes to pounding.

• Should you have a flat tyre, just do the honourable thing by changing your own tyres without our help. I guess that would be fair enough.

• Ask us on a date like we do. Bear in mind, you would also foot the bills solely.

• No matter who is driving, be mannered to open the doors for us.

• We shall from henceforth, have a unisex washroom. No gents or ladies but a washroom for both gents and ladies. We should be able to ease ourselves in each other's presence. Equality init?

• You must not freak out when you see cockroaches and mice. Kill them and carry them to the bin.

• At funerals, we would expect that you also carry coffins instead of wailing and rolling.

• Please sit with us to watch football and react like we would do. Don't be asking questions like, "Is Mourinho Man. United's coach?"

• We should both be entering the universities and job markets at an equal qualification. No priority over the other. Neither should you use your assets to beat us in this competition.

• Instead of waiting for us to approach you and start a conversation, walk up to us and initiate it. Ask us out and if possible, propose to us.

LAST CONDITION. A MUST DO:

• While playing street soccer or basketball, we take off our shirts or tops to play bare chested. That's when you see our abs right? Gender equality demands that while playing ball, with or without us, you go completely topless. No considerations for bras.

These are just a few of the stuff we would like you to do to be able to rub shoulders with us or like you say, be equal with us. They are simple things you should be doing in order to get that right granted. This does not relieve you off your normal female duties.

 As time goes on, we would be adding to the list so keep yourself updated. Don't be discouraged. Say, "YES WE CAN!!"

Till we meet in parliament or the Beijing Conference, it's an "All  the best" wish from all guys with love.

Sgd,

Nii Bavard