Letter To My Destined Wife

Dear Bae,

Love is the only chemical which cannot be prepared in any lab than the heart. The feeling of belonging where we neither share electrons nor covalent bonds but then our bond is thicker than that of Hydrogen and Oxygen and that's how I feel now.

My Bluetooth is active and is searching for the strongest connection to pair with. This is why I am writing you this letter just to inform you to switch on yours too if it's off. If not, kindly unpair with the current device and keep your Bluetooth active because fate has paved our love path and I can see you standing by it just like many other potentials who are waiting to get connected.

My Bluetooth name is Future Boo and I know yours is also Future Bae. As soon as you discover me, don't keep long in pairing. Many other guys including your friends are also with the same Bluetooth name just to confuse you. This letter would give you my connectivity details so that in case you get paired with any of them, detection of the fake ones would be done with ease.

I can remember anniversaries and events with ease just like any bluetooth device of my kind, maybe because I am still young, but I can't assure you off future remembrances after we've connected and paired in the name of marriage. This is because, other Bluetooth devices like kids, utility bills and fees would be pairing. I believe the best way to remember our anniversaries would be to make them our passwords so that we don't enter into petty arguments. This does not mean the connection is going to cease.

In future when we connect, I would be sending you files like airtime, pizza, phone, and the others. Kindly create a folder and name it 'Before Marriage'. That is just to let you pair up with me. When pairing is done, the files would reduce and some more important ones may be added. They would come in as applications such as fuel, kitchen, washing, but this is not to say files in Before Marriage would stop coming. Just don't forget to put them under the 'This is Marriage' folder. I am going to still admire your body specifications even after our 5th child is displayed on your screen no matter what happens.

Having made these known, kindly know that on Saturdays, a Bluetooth device known as Boys-Boys would be coming around to watch sports and the house would be noisy. I promise to disconnect them after two years if they still haven't found their strongest connections.

Bae, I want to make a plea. Should any of our Bluetooth go off at anytime, due to technical faults, let's not fail to approach the manufacturer of our devices, God, to help us through. Our connectivity is never going to be smooth cos no one's has ever been. With prayers, the manufacturer would make us better devices.

I have to end here, cos other devices called Suitors are using my format. Would tell you more when I meet you in person in the near future.

Please try not to delete your Virginity app. It's very important to me. Till then it's I, your future boo waiting to be connected.........much advanced future love.

Your future boo,
Nii Bavard