Letter From ISIS to Ghanaians: Dzi Wo Fie Asem

Hello lovely people of Ghana,

Greetings in the name of our patron saint, Osama Bin Laden and founder, Abu Musab al-Zarqawi, of the most active society in the world, Islamic State of Iraq and Syria, popularly known as ISIS. It’s been a long way coming since 1999 when we had to understudy Al-Qaeda, which was founded by our patron saint. Over the decade, we have participated in numerous activities such as Afghanistan War, Yemeni Civil War, and Boko Haram Insurgency amongst many others it with our most recent performance being in France.

It wasn't easy striking in that area but we made it. However, we are so mad at you for the hospitality and care you showed towards France in the past few days. All profile pictures and status have the France flag or Paris in it. We know you guys care a lot but your favoritism and selectivity in sympathizing is really annoying.

We've launched several attacks at several places and none of you changed your profile pictures to the flags of those countries but as soon as we launched our first European act, you took to social media and started campaigns such as #PrayForParis which I hear the Kumasianos are really suffering to pronounce. Our systems show that 65% of the world population with this Facebook France filters are Ghanaians and 70% of the world population using #PrayForParis are Ghanaians also.  We may be as cruel as what you can associate us to but come to think of it, aren’t you being wicked by not praying for other countries who within the week suffered the same and even worse fate than France?

The day before the Paris attacks, we attacked Beirut, killing at least 43 people and on Friday we deployed a suicide bomber to a funeral in Iraq killing about 21 people. We blame you less cos the media – print, electronic and social, failed to give it attention so you seem not to know of our other operandi modus or let’s say cos they are in the Middle East. What of the deadly attacks in Nigeria, your sister and Cameroon which we made Boko Haram handle?

We might be wicked but we won’t allow you to be mentally colonized by the Europeans. Why didn't you put up a picture of the Nigerian Flag as your dp or profile picture. Some may say the international community mourned with them but was it as massive as you are doing for them? Who told you Paris is the only place in the world which needs prayers? Is it because of that visa you need for your romantic honeymoons, the perfumes or the promised amount to help solve your dumsor?  

The world at large does and till you fail to realize that, we would keep bombing and causing mass destruction around the world. We believe in Facta Non Verba so we would talk less but let’s caution you that till you start a #PrayForDumsor or #PrayForMahama campaign, we won’t stop planning our next stop over to Ghana.

Love your neighbor as yourself not more than yourself. Pray for France, Pray for yourself and others, Pray for the world.

Sgd,

Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi