The Water Closet: Undeniable Facts

Did you know the most important but most disrespected part of a house is the water closet and simply because it takes in $#!t and doesn't give it back makes it the meekest on earth?

For me, the water closet is my favourite part of the house. I know you shocked but I was much shocked myself when I discovered this and it's true for everyone. It just hasn't occurred to you and for this reason I want to talk about my water closet.

"In 1596, Sir John Harington (1561–1612) published A New Discourse of a Stale Subject, Called the Metamorphosis of Ajax, describing a forerunner to the modern flush toilet installed at his house at Kelston. The design had a flush valve to let water out of the tank, and a wash-down design to empty the bowl. He installed one for his godmother Queen Elizabeth I at Richmond Palace.

With the onset of the Industrial Revolution and related advances in technology, the flush toilet began to emerge into its modern form." - Wikipedia, Flush Toilets

90% of all life decisions are made while on the WC: have you wondered why the washroom is the only place you think a lot? Has it ever occurred to you that the only place you can have a sound mind and make the best decisions is while on the seat? Funny enough, we all make the final decisions before we flush.

My WC is the best hideout for most scandalous things I've ever done. I'm not bad (very innocent....hehe......). So flashback primary and junior high school days, do you remember you sat on the WC to read that love letter your crush wrote to you? When MTN's Free Night Calls (Anadwo y3 d3) was trending back in the days and your parents never endorsed it in the house, who saved your ass for hours and never gave you out unless you were talking very loud? It was the WC. So you see?

So you still not convinced, 70% of proposals: marriage or dates were rehearsed while on the WC. Even ladies rehearse how to react to such proposals while on the WC. Of course they would deny it but it's true. It is one of the most romantic zones in the world and comes second to Paris. If you're still in doubt, ask a lot of 21st Century married men and women.

I have come to discover that even the best jokes, tactics, speeches, sermons, books, lyrics, rhythms were thought of or made on the Water Closet. Hehe......I beg stop the imagination. I can see you imagining your favorite comedian/comedienne, coach, president, pastor or lecturer or musician on the seat trying to think hard for the joke, sermon or music you most enjoyed. It's normal. 80% of all my articles were written while on the water closet including my very first post. Just ask any successful person in the arts industry and you'd be surprised.

You know, the WC may just be a place for you to ease yourself and that's it but why don't you spend a little more time reflecting on the project you're working on or yet to start. Research has proven that 90% of ideas have been left in the washroom due to people rushing out of the place. (Source: My Water Closet......hahaha). But if you know social media is what keeps you in the washroom for more than 10 minutes then I beg, these facts don't apply to you.

Are you thinking about germs? Don't worry cos the harm has already been caused. This article you just enjoyed was written while on the WC while thinking of how to recover from my bankruptcy. 

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