Letter to Rashida Black Beauty

Hello Black Beauty,

The brightness of the day in Cape Coast falling on your picture has mesmerized my mind, controlling my fingers in typing this intro which clearly does not make sense like the videos you have been releasing.

Sweetheart, you may be enjoying some fame at the moment cos the videos you release each week like series; Malafacka Series I suppose, funny. Haters would say ‘skin-pain’ but the truth is, I love you and I need you to know the reality associated with your fame. The truth is like chloroquin, very bitter but helpful. Take a seat and let me tell you the ‘Malafacka’ Truth.

On the eve of 2015 New Year Day, on a random sampling of resolutions from the Ghanaian populace, luck fell on one gentleman we later got to know as Two Thoozin and Fifteen, I guess you remember that guy. He has a Shatta Wale face, Balotelli head shape and a Shabba Ranks shaped mouth, that’s the guy I’m talking about.

The media hyped him and Ghanaians trended him not because he is talented, he never was tho, but because Ghana as a nation needed something to laugh their stress off. What did we see next? Interviews upon interviews and event endorsements just to pull crowds. The next thing we heard was Opana had released some songs which only got popular among his Whatsapp contacts, it didn’t go beyond his group of friends. To cut the long story short, he’s nowhere to be found, the media has deserted him and like the fart of a bee, as Nana Damoah would say, he’s MIA.

 You started trending at a very good time, when tensions were high in the country due to the elections. Once again, Ghanaians needed something to ease off the tension and you blessed us with your video. I don’t know how your video got to Facebook but you got people laughing and I was enthused by your demeanor, for a young lady to brag about her sexual prowess, it was really amazing. You got D-black and Wanlov dissing each other with ‘Malafacka’. You forced!!!

Now the truth, Ghanaians would hype anything silly for a maximum of three weeks. The media would help you small by giving you some extra hype for a month or two and then you’re left to your own fate. Then, you start to live a life to be relevant in the industry but the by then, Ghanaians would be tired of you. Nothing you do would please them, not even a sex tape. Ask OB Amponsah if you think I’m lying.

Then this is where things become tough, you start looking for jobs to earn an income, mind you, your employers watched you while you were ‘Malafacka-ing’. No employer would take you seriously and that’s social media. In some years to come, I don’t think you’d like to see Rashida Black Beauty Jnr being showed any of your episodes and getting to know ‘Mummy was a bed-monster’. Social media is like that ooo my sister, what is annoying the most is, when you’ve turned a new leaf then that Ayigbe boy controlling Facebook, Kojo Mark Z, would come and remind you of what you posted some ancestral years ago.

My little advice for you is, while you swing with the tides of fame, exert and use your influence (if you have any) to deal with social ills and promote a good cause. With your black beauty, you can encourage some Anti-bleaching Campaign among the youth. Better still, concentrate on going to school to be a better person. Like I said ‘ebi Ghana we dey ooo’, yɜ tumi sosɔ gyimie ho saa na ya gyae mu (we can encourage fooling till we are all tired).

Enjoy the hype while it lasts but remember, nothing lasts forever. As I sign out, let me congratulate you upon your nomination in the JIGWE AWARDS. You remember I spoke to you about Kenkey Fest, for now I'm considering.

Yours Malafacka,
Nii Bavard