ADA 505: Reviving A Dying Celebrity Status

I am quite happy with how readers are taking their lessons seriously. From Dzidzor 101 to Aponkye 301, readers seem to be applying effectively and we are now having a changing community. Recently, I received calls from celebrity friends who have applied previous lessons and want to know how to keep or revive it.So after Dzidzor 101 what is next?

Many a time, being a celebrity is a tough thing to do. Keeping it is the most tedious task. But like I always do, here to serve, I would take you through steps to make it easy.

Steps:

1. You must be or should have been a celebrity before.

2. Befriend gangsters. Roll with them. But keep your distance from the public eye.

3. Stage a kidnap like twice or thrice with 4 months with the help of your friends in 2 above. It serves as a holiday for you. You rest outside the public domain to restrategize.

4. Allow them to take pictures of you looking distressed in abduction and share via social media. You know Ghanaians are always sympathetic. Poets and Human Rights Activists would start campaigning for you with hashtags like #FreeTheStar #AbductedStar #Kidnapped #FreedomNow.

5. After 24 hours of releasing the pictures, make your friends get out of town and embark on an Adacious walk (go out naked or semi-nude looking worn out and knock on your neighbors' doors). The distance of your walk should be equivalent to a 2 hour journey by bus.

6. Allow them to take you to the hospital. Now this is the dangerous part; the police would come in for investigate. Pretend to be traumatised by events hence rendering you speechless.

7. Pay the doctors backstage to alter the doctors report. If they come out with the truth then prepare for step 8.

8. If persuasion fails and force is misapplied, prepare for the National Police Headquarters. Ghanaians would now start lashing you for making them waste their phone inks and time crying with you. It's a normal thing so prepare for it.

9. Finally, the media would go gaga running stories about you, rumors would come out, your educational background would be revealed, the occupation of your grandfather's grandfather would also come to limelight.

10. Now you are the centre of attraction. You have revived your status. Is that not what you wanted? So take it.

NB:

 Like we saw in previous lessons, give it a week or two and it dies out. Once in a while, it would bring out its ugly head but forget them. Ghanaians dey talk.